Car Moon

The trusted HMMWV (High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle), or as the troops (and everyone else) understandably calls it, Humvee, is getting a little long in the tooth, having entered service for the first time in 1984.

So it’s reasonable that DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) started looking for a suitable, and more up-to-date replacement with the Experimental Crowd-derived Combat Support Vehicle project –or, in civilian-speak, “the first crowd-sourced, military relevant vehicle design”.

Yesterday we brought you news about the first episode of the seventh season of BBC’s Top Gear TV series which aired last night featuring the Paramount Group’s Marauder. The South African-built armored vehicle was driven by TG presenter Richard Hammond in its native country.

However, “driven” is an understatement, since Hammond made the Marauder flatten cars, smash through walls and defy lion attacks. He also took a bright red one for a drive around Johannesburg, creating quite a fuss.

There are some three million former Saturn, Pontiac and Hummer customers in the United States, all of whom will unlikely ever have the pleasure of buying a newer model of their current make again. These are some of America’s defunct brands, all gone the same way as Plymouth, DeSoto, Packard and many others. These latest additions were culled following General Motors bankruptcy reorganisation in 2009. And Mercury owners are in the same boat.

Now, Ford and GM are desperately trying to hold onto these “brand-less” customers. Accoriding to a report from the Wall Street Journal, in this year alone, 70% Pontiac owners, 71% of Saturn owners and 65% of Mercury owners who traded in their vehicles left with something other than a Ford or GM product.

For those still living in 2005, 213 Motoring (Japanese tuner Calwing's US division) has got just what you need to get to the prom in style: a supremely decked-out 6-wheeled H2.

The metropolitan tank gets a huge dose of Extenze to fit that extra axle (and super-size the interior), a body kit, a new exhaust system and a dozen extra lights on its nose.

Inside is just what people have come to expect from limousines: leather, plush carpeting, big TV screens, and liquor. Just what you need to get the party started.

Leave it to a German tuner to take something already gaudy by nature and make it even more garish and ugly. "Take your Hammer and drive it sexy", says CFC in the press release on the pimped-out Hummer H2 (with a "u" and not an "a"). Too bad it doesn't say 'where', but let's not make this post more inappropriate than it already is.

After a lengthy visit at their warehouse, CFC's tuning team went ahead and stuffed the Hummer H2 like a Thanksgiving turkey. Starting from the outside, the 'chrome' vinyl wrap is complemented by tinted windows, a carbon wrap for the bonnet and a set of uber-discreet 'CFC' stickers.

As of today, General Motors has officially declared that Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machines Co., Ltd. (try saying that ten times fast, I'll wait) won't be buying the Hummer brand after all. If you don't recall, Tengzhong is the Chinese company that thought it could make the Hummer business work in today's world.

There are many rumors to as why China officials would not support the transaction including Beijing's political agendas and environmental concerns (wait, Hummer's aren't efficient and green?), but fact is, the proposed deal is dead.

Truth to be said, no one knows what the future beholds for Hummer now that GM sold the brand to a little-known Chinese company called Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co. But that hasn't deterred independent designers like Andrus Ciprian from envisioning future products for Hummer.

In keeping with the downsizing theme of the industry, the Romanian designer's proposal is an extremely compact off-roader called the HB that features almost no front and rear overhangs, a high road clearance and huge tires.

General Motors officially announced today that it has entered into a definitive agreement to sell its Hummer unit to China's Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co., Ltd. The sale comes only four months after GM announced that it entered talks with the Chinese heavy equipment maker. Sichuan Tengzhong will purchase Hummer through an investment entity, in which it will hold an 80 per cent stake, while Hong Kong investor Suolang Duoji, a private entrepreneur, will get the remaining 20 per cent stake.

My eyes, oh my poor eyes... Can't remember for sure if we have seen any custom made vehicle worse than this heavily modified Hummer H1 that's up for grabs on eBay, but it certainly makes the top list. And wait until you see the interior with the ostrich leather dashboard and the number of LCD screens surrounding the driver...